by Paul Cudenec

Roll up, roll up, dear units of human capital, and shuffle submissively into the sublimely sustainable future of Monty Satan’s Lying Circus!

Keep your distance from each other, folks! No chatting! Remember, eye contact can spread misinformation! Keep your muzzles tightly fastened and your brains in stand-by mode!

We’ve been planning this show for a very long time indeed and we’re hellbent on making it a sizzling red-hot hit on a truly biblical scale!

No expense has been spared in our preparations, thanks to the literally unlimited financial resources available to The Satanic Foundation (“Devil-may-care philanthropy for the modern age“) and ourveryclose friends at the Bank for Global Enslavement.

We wanted to be quite sure that you would fall in love with our spectacle before you’d even seen it (that’s the only way, believe me!) and that you would come flocking…